Painful desicion

I keep calling her, but she didn't pick up, anyway I'm still waiting for her to reply me. I tot I could sleep... but I can't... I just can't sleep, too many things inside my mind. all the 3 years 9 months moments.

This time round, I wont behave like a month ago... asking her backm reason? In order for her to make this break up decision, she needs a lot of courage and yet it hurt a lot? Why I say so? Because I love her and pamper her more and when I put in my blog and her blog's comment http://misunderstoodmaiden.blogspot.com/ saying that I agree on breaking up, it really tearing me apart.

During her student time, she need someone to protect her, guide her, I'm really glad that, I'm that guy, who somehow managed to gave her a good first love... DID I???? ha ha ha, Must ask her and give me a comment on me...

I saw a story from the net before, gues some of you may read it before. Anyway I'd shall this here.

The story was saying a man who's gf break up with him due to a 3rd party. He was very up set and later on met a monk who was a fortune teller, telling him that he saw something in him. He saw a naked dead body in the beach and there are 2 men, the 1st one who walked pass the body took out his shirt and cover the body. And then the 2nd man walked pass, saw the body being covered, he dig a hole and buried the body.

That man do not understand what the monk trying to tell him and the monk explain to him the moral of the story. The Girl was the dead body in the pervious life, and her NEW bf was the 2nd man and this guy who get hurted was the 1st man. Meaning that in this life, the girl is just here to return him his kindness for covering her. But for the guy she is with right now, is the person who buried her in previous life. This is the man who can be with her or even get married with her.

What I trying to say is, I'm the person who can be with her only for a while and I'm satisfy with the time being with her and really thankful.

TO my dearest "PN aka ICE" Really thanks for giving me so much precious moment, is our fate to leave each other. I just wish that we can still become friend. You dumped me, but u gain back a good friend, or God brother, why not?

Still cannot tuck in... HELP~~!!! How am I going to sleep?