Singaporean

Went ICA building early in the morning, went to take the oath and I'm now a singaporean... Oh... NO more hong kongie??? ha ha ha ha

But I still borned and rasied in HK.. therefore, Im still a Hong Konger ba...

Nothing much to talk about today.

Just that, went to help Ting Ting move house... a bit pai seh. cos I need to leave by 6 15pm as Vivian treat me watch movie at shaw building. So sorry ting ting. owe u once.

Vivian treated me watch the movie "Pride and Prejudice" A typical gal gal movie.. Kinda funny... Got time will write a review on it..

Need to work am later, going to sleep..

Bad customer service

Earlier in the morning, went to China embassy to teminate my HK passport... kinda pissed off by those China pple working there... I've got nothing against chinese... Cos I'm from HK, and HK is part of China... But I can't stand those chinese pple who work in SG china embassy. Their attitude is very much worst than mine~~!!!

They dare to throw forms at pple... talk very rude, never smile... as if u owe them a living. They dun accept $$$ here, they only accept HKD or USD for my problem and need someone to pay for me in HK... sound stupid right?



This is my HK passport... got to say BYE BYE to it soon.

After that went to look for nellie, she helped me to get a deed poll in a very reasonable price. Thanks my fren, still as pretty as usual, ha ha ha, but too bad, she's attached.



How's my car's new design? got a sticker on it. My name there, nice? I guess I will scrap this car by next month. Reason being, I can't get a parking slot near SGH, this make me consider scraping it... is losing $$$ but rather than long time spending $$$ on it. look at my previous post, how many times I paid for it's repair? only air con itself cost me about 500 dollars... this and that, all the extra $$$ spent on it.. doesn't worth it rite? Somemore SG is so small. Can get to anywhere i want by MRT and buses. Right?

Still wonder... Y HDB dun allow me to park at my usual place? ha ha ha... make me so miserible now.. dunno where to park and therefore... DUN drive la. take train got more gals to see.

Today is a real BAD DAY for me. Even my dad find fault at me and scolded me like hell... just because he got scolded by someone? Come on man... everyone got their own stress rite? Y drag me into the picture where as I need to face my own problems.

Morning need to go n get my SG citizenship... NIte Nite frens

Goal Met

Is Sunday today and remember I keep saying I wanna see 7today? I'm glad that my Goal is met... I will maintain this 7 and hopefully I can be successful. he he... many pple dunno wat i mean by 7... MSN me and ask me k
ha ha ha ha

This show that, with determination and hard work, many things can be achieved.

My niece changed to a tiger baby today... see the pic? cute? he he



Was talking to Qing just now.. know that she got choked during her dinner last night. Wish that she's fine...

Today is a very relaxing day for me. Went to the pool, rest there, read my book, took a nap after that went for my 10km run and back to the pool to have a swim.

Enjoyed my dinner so much.



Nice dinner rite? a lot of Vit C one hor... he he.

Tmr will go and cancel my HK passport... so can't go JB for the time being wor.. he he

Tiring Sat nite

Long time never meet up with all my army frens... Well some of them signed on... some working and majority of them r studying Uni.... Is it always good being a studdent? I can't answer this Question now... reason is... this answer is very individual, to me... I prefer being a YOUNG and NORMAL student... just go sch... dun think of $$$, have fun, gain knowledge and the impt is... no need to worry about our SINFUL $$$. HA HA HA. Parents will provide... a normal and lucky student should understand what i mean...

Anyway I've been working part time when I was a student... trying to show I've grow up... Do not need to depends on my parents anymore... But in reality... Even the room and the computer I'm having now... are from them... my parents.... How lucky am I to be borned in this family..

I've frens who need to earn their own school fees and things like that...

Well... Last night went to Suntec City, we had dinner there and went to MO MO after that... Dun really like to enjoy clubbing... or I'd say... I do not wish to pay $$$ and get deaf... music is too loud and I got no talent in DANCING??? no point going into the dance floor and SHAKE my FAT ASS~~~!!! ha ha ha, is a disgrace...



Taken when we get bored over those loud music... went to a quiet corner to chit chat..

Went home at about 3 20... saw agnes there and sent her home... she became prettier, he he...

Reached home about 4 plus... suddenly dun feel like sleeping. maybe we guys were talking too much over problems in life... our expectation and the topic I just encountered... 3rd party in BGR and this and that.. Therefore, I drove my beloved Gtti went to JB ha ha ha, in the end slept around 6 plus, get waken up by my dad's call around 10am...

Now is 2 plus... wat a sunday afternoon... No sun light again.. I wanna go SUN TAN~~!!!

IV course

Attended an IV course today. Kinda interesting, realise im the kind of person who can perform better on skills instead of theory... Right now.. got to have some changes in this character. Because i wanna have good grades for my SIM degree next year... Therefore.. must excell in both, skills and theroy. Study hard FAT PIG... ha ha ha

Today my fren Belinda came to SGH look for me after my work. Beside Qing, she is the 2nd person who came to my work place and visit me... Kinda BIG FACE huh... can have some many friends come all the way down to visit me... Ha Ha ha. ANyway she is a very nice person.... one of those who always console me when I was down in my break up... Thanks fren...



Taken another pic today... hope wont look so haggard... must ask Issac yim come and see again... ha ha ha ha

Belinda say I look better than in pic... is that true? any frens can tell me? means Im not photogenic la... ha ha

Back home, look after my niece... my mum's hand seems to be better... honestly, sometimes when I look at her. really feel very sorry... getting older and more and more problems for her.. like she felt down about 2 months ago... her teeth nearly drop off, this and that. Sigh...

Went dinner after that.




This monster... hold the toy in super market and refuse to let go... but in the end.. we never pamper her... made her put back to original place... he he

Going to sleep soon. still got to work morning shift later on.

Hit by a car.....

Today is a very special day... why? Because while I was crossing the road in the morning... got this lady drove her car and hit me.... luckily the speed was not that fast and my bag kind of protected me.... Wanted to fall down and KENG MC one... but dun want la... I went for ops couple of weeks ago and SGH deducted my pay... about 140 dollars... I didn't know my daily pay is only 70 dollars... sigh...

By the way, today went back AnE and work.. about 2 weeks didn't work there... suddenly feel like I got so much energy, he he

After work, Went to Chong Pong to repair my shoes and meet Kat... Kat said my hair cut was lousy... therefore she brought me to her hair dresser and had a new hair cut..



Take a look... Issac said I look very haggard with this hair cut.... Everyday work and have been running ma... of cos look OLD and Tired la... but im young in heart. ha ha.

Something very sad... after dinner with Kat, went home, realised that my mum injuried her hand... heart pain.. hope that she will recover soon....

Now Still not very sure if I can see 7 on Sunday... sigh... wish me luck guys.

MRT

Finally, today never sleep during lectures... kinda get back to student life... ha ha ha ha, but yet.. those lectures r boring... sian ar... luckily tmr back to AnE for a day... let me work ma...

Anyway... today was kinda guitly... cos I ate laksa for lunch.... Oh NO~~~!!! so fattening.... sigh....



Taste so so only... next time go level 8 and eat.... will show u guys the level 8 laksa... ha ha ha ha VERY NICE WORRRRRRR, ha ha ha ha

After a long time... finally wear my new watch to work... my dad gave me as BD present.. im a PA PA boy wor... ha ha ha ha



By the way...
Wat my topic today is.. .MRT, y? cos my car broke down yesterday and sent for repair... get towed to dunno where... so today took MRT to work... not bad huh... kinda fast and not so crowed as i tot... can see pretty gals also... suit heart broken guy like me... ha ha ha ha

Just another normal day today... just that after work, meet up with Ling Ling... so long never see him, he become more MAN and he put on wt... according to him.. i became fitter. he he.... hope that my determination will work this time... Gabatei~~!! something like that la... some japanese teacher correct me pls.

After that, went to collect back my baby... spent 150 on it again... hopefully the car batt wont flat again.... Actually went to check it last wk... those guys from sembawang road keep saying no need to change... nothing's wrong... somemore they dare to charge me again... So i sent my baby to sin ming. he he... yet, still heart pain....

Will go and do my Deed Poll from Nellie's lawyer's coy next wk... need to add my name PATRICK into my IC... if not. all my NMs in DEM will keep asking... y u called urself Patrick, is it inside the IC???? FAN leh.... my dad gave me the name Patrick but he never register in the birth cert... that's it...

Ok... kinda tired, cos just came back from a run, will read my book and sleep soon ba... still got to work tmr...

Take care guys

I LOVE my GTTI

Today... kinda normal boring day... Lectures r boring.... Why send me on course? sigh.... Anyway still learn some new stuffs or I'd say refreshing for my memories in Nursing stuffs...

Something very funny happened, which make me LOVE my Gtti so much....
Before I start... let me show u guys my GTTI



The P plate is no longer there..... Why I love IT so much....When I was driving it last wk. I sensed that something is not rite... therefore I sent it for a check up, but I was told is the meter having problem, not the car's battery.... Just now when I was driving home.... my dear GTTI seems like having problem and the best part is... it break down at the middle of the road... at a cross junction in Khatib... SO damn pai seh man.... then got to get out of my car... put the car break down sign and direct cars not to drive near me.... Was raining and I was all wet...
Same problem happened on my BD, 22 08 2005.... I was fetching my Ex at expo and my car break down due to NO Batt.... There r so many cars at that point of time... but no one came out and help... sigh....

Thanks GTTI.... make me famous in Khatib.. ha ha ha ha ha. Tmr got no car. need to take MRT to work...

Took a pic of myself before I get my hair cut... still find that. Wearing black T shirt under my uniform look nice... he he. Dunno those NM allow me to do so when i back to AnE...

Here is my pic




Anyway my hair look damn funny... not long not short.... HO HO HO HO, will show u guys once I cut it. Still look very fat huh.... No problem... is working very hard on it right now...

By the way, let me show u guys my lovely baby... she reading my pocket encyclopedia leh... dunno this 1 year old gal... how much she understand... ha ha ha ah
Going for a jog now. will sleep after that.

Short term Goal

I'm kinda depress now.... cos I drifted away from my little short term goal.... But is ok... will work extremely hard to achieve it by end of this wkend... I will see 7 by Sunday afternoon.... what's 7??? will let u all know... he he

Right now, I do things must be very focus... focus on my short term goal... and my 5 years plan... there r so many things to do and achieve in life... but must do it step by step...

Just met up with Banana... and had a good chat... even gave him some ideas of wat he should do... Hope he can be more focus and sucessful in life. Will pray for him...

Guys... got something to ask u all.... read the text below....

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction.

Can anyone do it? ha ha ha ha...

Talked to Hafidz just now... He told me my biggest weakness is at gals... move on man... dun always think of HER... ha ha ha, get a scolding by him... HO HO HO. ok la, brother... I will be independent and move on without LOVE. ok? thanks man... such a nice fren of my...

Anyway just show some nice nice pic taken when I was still in the army... hope u guys like it

On course again... so bored... tmr need to OT till 5pm... sigh... go back to my studies...
Have a nice days all my friends... love u all.

Weekend

Before touch on my weekend... should thanks my fren Eileen(Teacher), for telling me there are lots of mistake in my blogSsssssssssss.. Therefore I should do something about my EL... Must enroll myself to some EL courses I guess...

Yesterday after work, went lunch with Qing at City hall, do u guys know the place, out of the pan? I ate the spicy beef yesterday. Not so bad leh... Anyway this is the second time I having lunch there. Went there with Melissa some time ago...

That place is not a bad dinning place. Prices are reasonable and the quality of the food is not bad. Environment is kinda relaxing. sitting next to the small fountain. Just that... the place is a little bit small... kind of compact... and sitting under the esculator... everyone will be looking at u eating... he he.....

After that, was trying to sort out where should we go in the afternoon... my dear fren Qing said... go fly kite la.... guess what? We really ended up at marina bay to fly kite, the last time I fly kite was 1998... And yesterday wind wasnt that strong... therefore... couldn't get the kite up in the sky for too long.... should try again... maybe next wk? Anyway wanna go with me? we go FLY KITE.

At night, went JB with Simon... eat seafood... The foods are cheap there... cant really finished all the food... Maybe should ask more frens go in next wk... So... Mcroy... r we going next wk?

Today. Sunday. woke up in the morning... suppose to go KTV with Pong, his gf and Qing... but in the end.. Felt too tired and dun feel like going out... So stayed at home, read my books. completed one old book, Pocket Encyclopedia... nice book. and started reading a book borrow from Ophelia. kinda funny book... Went online and search for some books in SNL... should be going to the librarys often to read my books during my off days... And will start writing review... like my Dr fren... Francesca aka dopey. Will start decorate my blog soon i guess..

Cindy just talked to me... remind me about her... ok la... when I can't let go a person... she's like huanting me... infact woke up from a nap... cos dream of her again... things like that..

Really need to carify this... I DUN hate her... maybe I sound very angry the other time... but feeling is something very very extremely funny... when there's no feeling, I cant do anything also like she said. She started with him after break up, so she never cheat or betray me... Guys... thanks for all the advise, esp on asking me to move on... I'm moving on... in fact I'm catching up my short term goal... Seeing 7 by next sunday is my 1st goal....

By the way... Feel abit sorry for my dad... cos the other time, when i was to ORD, he asked me to go back HK... and I stayed in SG, one reason is... because of her, I know, once I go back, we got to break up... I not trying to say that I've done a lot of things for her. I guess u all should know.. She had done maybe even more sacrify for me... which is I never stated here at all....

About BRG... is something very funny.... Once u have it... u feel happy... after a while, u find it troublesum... once feeling is gone, u hate the person... on break up. is either u miss or u hate the person.... For my case... we cant even be fren... cos really hurt each other too much...

For my fren, B, love is selfish and is also blind... i understand how u feeling now... but learn to let go things... slowly let the feeling fade away... I know the feeling of... missing that person u love very much. But yet, we need to move on, relax urself a bit k... see my previous blog, do some deep breathing ex lor k? Can learn from me. go jogging often... make urself busy and occupied. Ok? B... I know u can do it. Jia You.

Just recieved a msg... Kinda true huh... If I never exp break up... I'll never know that, there r so many frens who care and love me. thanks frens.

Pain

What's pain?

The defination of Pain

IS a unpleasant sensory or emotional experience associated with actual or potentail tissue damage.

International Association study of pain 1979.

Look guys... in future, if any break off or things happened.... try dun say that is heart pain... cos there's not tissue damage in ur heart.... HO ho ho ho

Wat i wanna say is... some uncomfortable feeling I've gone thru these few days. Last sat till tuesday I couldn't sleep.... as I said, I keep dream of her... get hurt by someone... maybe the new bf cheated her this and that.... But all these thinking or ideas just show that im still LOVE HER??? or jealous.... that's y got all these worries... cos since she chosen him... I got no right to care and giv any advise, cos I'm not that person with that damn old man... ha ha ha, she is, and she may feel happy and COMFORTABLE with him.. OLD (mature) RICH and things like that, is a total diff feeling being with a chilidsh guy like me....

Wait... dun goes indepth into her case again.... stop that la... very BORED... let her be... and let me be the true me again...

I just wanna share... when u encounter problems in future. regardness in relationhip, work or any stressful events. U will feel very uneasy, maybe will be like me, cant sleep, can't breath, goes into a very bad depression and even got the idea of injecting KCL bolus for myself.

PLS, dun do that, what u got to do with this EMOTIONAL PAIN is to calm urself, let go ur mind for a while. Free ur thinking. Do deep breathing Ex.. like those Yoga type of Ex will be good. Slowly mediate, but NEVER think of that problems at the moment. Cos u can even find any solution and may even goes into deeper depression. For me, wat I just mentioned DUN HELP, ha ha ha ha, still got isomia... badly.... but slowly slowly will be better. Learn how to let things go.

Can do Deep breathing Ex. take a deep breath, Hold it there and slowly let go by counting 1, 2, 3... slowly let go. calm urself k. Is very useful when u get angry. trust me.

To all my friends, I'm sorry to make u guys worry. 7 days after that inccident, I'm kinda stable a bit... will return to normal ASAP.... but mean while... Im still very the attention seeking, so CARE ABOUT ME, LOVE ME, k?ha ha ha ha ha ha

have a nice sunday guys

Drama

Thanks for all the supports of my friends... initially tot of stop writing blog... kinda no point la.... tell one sided story and made so many pple unhappy. My Jealousy and Crazy tots even disturb my ex's new relationship.... not very nice rite? But I got a few friends who asked me... Patrick, y u never update it? They r just so nice, caring and wanna see how i doing...

Actually I no need to keep writing about love life right? Working in AnE leh... got so many stories to tell.... Ha HA Ha... So here I will tell some stories on last tues onwards.....

Before that, I really need to thanks all those friends once again, really appreciate the present of you guys. Make my life more meaningful. Thanks guys...

Some little update. What happened last wk and what's my initial plan with my ex. Agnes and some others may know wat i actually planned.

At 1st... really very calm, sit down and think thru the past relationship. So many things happened between them and maybe she dun feel it, but I really love her very much... I dun only SAY that I love her... all my friends can see that I love her and doing lots of things for her.... But when feeling is gone... No point holding her back.... Therefore I agree with the back off. And till the very last moment I still asked if she and her NEW bf... (30+++++ very black... Is Kenneth an Indian??? I dunno... need someone to enligthen me... Ha Ha Ha) possible to be together... She said not. impossible...

When things become possible, she said the feeling is diff... some feel i cannot give... or maybe never give b4... of cos la... not so old, dunno how to play mind game and win others ma... wait la... wait till I older, HO HO HO..... Ok la... Dun talk cock 1st....

Back to the initial Plan. Simple, let her cool down, ask her out on her BD. Or even she dun go out with me on her BD. Buy her flower and send her card. That's it, to maintain as a friend. very simple...

So what's big deal? the thing is... when let her cool down and ask her out again. things MAYBE... MAY got changes and there r still chance if u try... Of Cos not now... cos right now... or even she read this, she will find that im so SARCASTIC or things like that.... Seriously i dun mind anything or to SHOW anything... just saying how I feel....

Well, Last Wednesday, after my ops, went out with pong pong, went to cini and saw some toys... wat toys? those Japanese collection toys... she got 3 out of 4... and she always cannot get the last one. I just choose one and made a wish. if I can get the one she dun have... maybe she will come back to me. I just made a wish like that...

Thursday, Went JB, saw the HK series she likes, brougth those DVD for her.

Thursday night, met her, she came to my house for soup, wait... nothing much, cos I wanna her to collect her working materials, those newspaper. that's it. At that point of time, I kind of dun wanna drag with her anymore... So I just gave her the toy and DVD, asked her to open the toy... u know wat guys? is really the one she dun have.... Inside my heart was... I still got chance winning her back? drove her to Bishan, asked her to have tea with me on friday night. No respond. at night, sms also no respond.

Friday morning, woke up... nothing much, go to work... morning shift.... busy here busy there... cant even rem wat I do... received a call, from her house.... wait a min.... maybe something wrong here... anyway I ever recieved missed call from her house and I called her HP... I was so worried, tot something happened to her... Anyway dunno which day recieved call. Friday evening, was at the east side, wanna go tea with her. but she just sms me said, TIRED, need to go home, after that, never reply my sms and answer my call. went back home.... STUPID hor? said dun love her still do so much for fish? ha ha ha, dun love her? bluff one ma... love her the most...

Sat... as u all know, I decided not to find her anymore after friday she treat me like that, get scolding by my dearest sister jessie... said, she changed her heart?? no feeling for me. told me not to disturb her anymore.... But I based on wat my ex said... she and her boss impossible one ma... so I still try... anyway i never disturb her on sat, not even a sms... cos I tot... really give up.

On Sat night, like wat I said earlier on... was talking to Kat, outside HMV, saw her wearing the yellow clothes I brought her from HK.... smiling happily, she enjoyed herself so much.... holding her INDIAN??????? boss hand... and when she saw me... maybe she tot I will punch him or slap her? they quickily drag him away..... that point of time, I guess my trop K should be sky high.... I let them went off for a while then I stood up... that time scared Kat.... cos I guess I was having a very serious hypertension... ha ha ha, when I stood up nearly felt down.... But still act cool, get my car, drove Kat back home. Went home and wrote the blog. And asked her back for out join acc's money... I tot of having the join acc to get married... but she dun think that way....

So Sunday, she transfer $$$ back to me. and sent me a GOOD BYE sms... no more frens liao hor??? how to? And monday... she wrote blog to scold u guys... all my frens, and wrote an email to me...

About the email, I not going to reveal it at all, cos is personal and is between the both of us.

One thing I need to tell her... If she still read this... I doubt so... she will never read again???

For her only... guys... dun comments about me... I know I may sound stupid to u all.... ok??

So, for my Ex. I've never regret being with u, yes, like u said, it seems like I never trust u... but that's just my nature. I like to got full control of my partner that's y u felt uneasy. And towards 2 years plus, esp I was in 2PDF, our meeting became so routine, sorry I neglected u all the while. BUt is ok....

Anyway wat I wanna say is. I never hate u, even u r with ur boss now, I'm serious, in future, when u read this, say.... u r sad.... rem wat I told u on the sunday we met up, I sent u to amk, u promised me. u will find me... the 1st to contact if u r sad.... I will still keep the promise. Although we seems like hurting each other more and more in this break up and there's no possibility to be friend again, I still urge u to bear in mind.

U only hurt me deeply when I saw u with that INDIAN father... I got the feeling of... u betrayed me... y him? y not another person, y u got a new bf so fast. things like that.... u hurt me most is this time. but for the 3 years 9 months, most of the time, I felt happy when I saw u.... Therefore, thanks for all e happy and sweet memories u gave me.

Incase u get cheated by this uncle and happen to read this. Dun feel shamful... no need to feel pai seh. give me a call, if u need to cry, i lend u my shoulder. ok? Maybe u will never read this... who knows...

Anyway Life got to move on. I forgive but not to forget, we spent time together is a good learning process. Right now, I'm stuck, course I cannot see or decide what I want or how to move on, but at least u move on with ur new life and catching up with ur dream. Once again, I wish u good luck. But I still find that your new bf sucks.... play mind game, destroy others, maybe love SEX game, this one only u know... I wont know... 30++++ can dun ask for sex? and u sound like love him so much, u wont give???? thousand ???... but he will get it... maybe next life... God is fair to us.

That's y God let me see u two holding hand SO FAST, Thanks god, amen.

Ok guys... can comments on me... say I stupid can, ha ha ha ha, but things really happen like a drama... everything just happened like... So fast and only can be seen in TV, but yet, it happen.

For some update, I saw them on sat, didnt sleep till sunday morning.... slept for 2 hours, monday never sleep, tuesday never sleep much also... guess for that few days, I only slept for 4 hours or so.... nearly died... and cannot breath, cant goes to sleep...
up till now... I took a nap, I still woke up by night mare...
dream of her, being cheated and cry... I really feel sad if she get cheated...
Cos somehow I'm the person who pushed her to him... So... I need to bear some responsibility rite?

Dun scold me too much k guys...
will update on work tmr, if I have time,
wanna talked about some cases on last sat... that day I saw her... and how I win a horse lottery.

almost 1am now, later still got to work morning shift.
night night

Sorry to all my friends, I love u all.

Before that, really thanks all my frens who show concern and care for me. And so sorry that u guys get scolded as idoits by saying comments on my one sided story... whether who's wrong who's right, only 3 of us will know. She, Me and her new bf... Maybe u all base on the time she spend to get this new bf and judge that she is wrong.... She's angry and love is blind.. And I'm also very lazy to counter on her reply to me and the comment she gave to all my friends.

Really Glad that I've so many good friends around me. Maybe she can ask her friends in her office, how they feel about the timing she get her boss as a bf... maybe the whole office will say.. should have dumped that HK guy long ago and with this boss... I dunno... Really sad that u guys get scolded because of me. A sarcastic jerk... He He...

Friends forever guys love u all~~!!! Muach Muach~~!!! ha ha ha

Cruel Reality

Make this short and simple. Went Tea with Kat and Saw my ex gf, Lim Pei Ni and her boss Kenneth, holding hand walking outside HMV happily, we had eyes contact. Well, at that point of time, I dun feel angry, y? It isn't it what I predicted?

Anyway I'm not in any position to care who she is with and when they started. Give both of them benifit of adult, say they just started once we both broke up.

Just a few points to say.

1) Lim Pei Ni, why can't you be a little bit honest to me at the end of our relationship. Even that day I met u and gave u materials you needed for work. You claimed to be innocent and is a victim in our BGR, cos I'm over pocessive. But who's lying to who right now? You said you and him are impossible, u treated him like a father. So are you telling us that you started dating with your dad?

2) I've always tot that you are someone special, not as normal as many other gals who wanna climb high and very materialistic. Seems like I'm wrong again. If you are not that mean, that y you wanna be with someone who are so much older than you n divorced with a daugther? You like to be step mother? or like to be mistress?

3) You always said u HATE SEX, well, I'll not rule out that you may engage sexual activity with him or other guys in future, therefore dun always pretend that you r so innocent, you are with someone who are mature, and gone thru marriage and able to provide what u need rite now. I doubt he can have all those CLEAN relationship with u. Once again, since u chosen a sugar daddy, I'm wrong in the past again, you r as normal as other girls.

4) I've promised your dad, if u still rem, during his wage, I stood there very long and making wishes. Yes, I told him and in fact I promised him that I will love you forever and take care of you. Seems like I must get myself out of this promise. Y? You'd know better. If only u r a little bit more honest to me, tell me everything about u and him. I still can forgive u. not say will wait for u, but at least still protect and help u. Now, is obvious that my help to you are so minium and u dun even care.

5) this is to kenneth, Thank you for taking her away from me, cos wat u've done is simply telling me that she dun derseve my love. Sound stupid and consoling myself rite? But is wrong, you can take her away from me and other can simply take her away from you. So if you are not cheating her and put in your HEART in her, u will feel the pain. Otherwise, just enjoy your love game with her, she is desperate for your love.

6) Still to Kenneth, I took a closer look at u just now outside HMV, I'm younger than you, fitter and better looking than u. the most impt thing is I'm much younger than u. So I can be sure that. By the time I'm at your age I will become more successful than u and a better status than u.

7) I lost a person who dun love me, but she lost a person who love her alot. Lim Pei Ni, remember this phase, I know you will NEVER regret. If I never see u wrongly again... I know u won't come back again, from the begining u left me again.

8) Lim Pei Ni, you have been telling me that, whenever your mum talked to u, you feel sad, cos you r hiding things from her. Look at this NEW relationship yourself. Do you think what you are doing wont make your mum worry? or you r saying that u got a RICH bf therefore u r making the family proud? Think of your mum and dad before you carry on with ur stupid act.

9) Life is a path, is how we choose to walk our way thru till the end, since this is the path you have chosen, as a ex bf. who have been wasting time on u for 3 years 9 months, I still send my regards to u.

Patrick

Do I look like Thai?

Work 9 to 4 30 today, but got aunty asked me if im a Thai or from Vietnam.... Do I look like one? I always tot I LOOK like a pure chinese... seems like is not... ha ha ha ha

Thanks for Glen's ECG book, started reading it today while waiting for someone to accept my invitation to go dinner with... Anyway get rejected, HO HO HO, as I expected...

Talked to tao wei when I got back to yishun, his mum is not feeling well and is warded, sometimes I really wish that our parents can stay healthy forever... but the fact is, all of us are growing and aging is unavoidable... including us... we r getting older everyday and weaker.. So pls take a closer look at our parents or love ones.... they may not be always there. Therefore Pls kindly treasure them and take care of them NOW, no point regret and crying over spilt milk.

I miss my dad... and I love my MA MA... HO HO HO HO.

Wish my grandparents are heatlhy in HK.

Working Morning later on...

National Parks...

Why I talked about national parks? Cos today is my 3rd day and the last day of MC... Stayed at home study my ECG, read my books and very amusing that those national parks in other countries are so nice... Should I have the money and will visit those places in my life...

My dream was to become a lawyer when I was young... perhaps if I carry on staying in HK I could've made it... Y? cos in SG, I always failed my EL.... anyway I passed it.... But yet... not good enough to study law in SG...

Beside Law... should be a Biz man... but lucky enough, I couldn't make it also... and out of all profession, I became a nurse.... many pple asked me... WHY??? even gals also dun wanna work as a nurse, y r u a nurse? Dun laugh... Ever got pple bum into me and asked me this... Then I got to tell him the reason, can save life, meaningful... ba ba ba..

Honestly, working as a AnE staff nurse, really kinda busy and tiring... so many cases... so many things to do... but end of the day, when the patient can discharge... or being saved, no matter how tired we are. Still worth it...

Who wanna save $$$ to go USA with me? we go to visit those national parks from USA, then South Africa... I wanna tour in Erupo. Spain, Potogal, UK, German.. many many places.. and I prefer to sail there... Like those explorers in 15 century...

If anyone find any Marine nursing jobs. let me know k, I can work on those big big ships and I can see the sea and sky everyday. Also... when the sea get angry.. there are storms and we must fight it.... sound interesting rite?

Miss my friends....

Sent Celest to the airport this morning... SO sad... one more HK frens left me... Should I go back HK too? he he, no lah... can't catch up with such a fast pace I guess... now OLD already... So here... I wish Ah ping and Celest all the best in their career in HK.

Pong Pong found a job today, Here I congrat him and wish him all the best. I acc him for the check up and stuffs after sending Celest to airport... Petrol EX ar, ha ha ha

So far... till now... I've a few good friends, really glad to have them around. Pong, Jessie, Mel, Banana and many many more... Esp my Sister Jessie... Really thank you for always be there when I need u.... Dun worry, I promise u. I will do the same for u...

Met my old friend Pei Xuan today... How many years never see leh.... let me see... almost 10 years... I still can recongise her... not bad leh... Had a good chat with her. At least she let me feel that.... Tian Xie Wu Bu Sia De Yan Si.... There's no never ending dinner... But after that, we still can meet again... So dinner again? he he...

Brought 3 CDs today, Lullaby of Camomile, Feel and feel Best... my Fav music... newage and jazz... he he.. should slowly learn more on jazz and have more indepth knowledge...
Actually I'm really lousy leh... know everything a bit here n there but not in depth.. have always wanted to change... since right now, im so forcus on what I wanna do and achieve... is time to study harder and get more information.

By the way, those CDs I've mention is really good to relax myself... they even made Pong slept in my car leh... he he

Anyway... Ass still pain... Nurse... give me injection~~~!!! ha ha ha....

Still fighting for my dream.... Keep it up... my little 5 years plan... and my 6 months plan...

the 6 months plan seems like more diff to achieve... but I'll keep it up.

Take care... all my friends.

Pain in my ass~~~!!!

Today's scope was so called alright. Like what I expected, but one thing I'm not so satisfy about was that the Dr was so busy, while doing the scope for me, he keep stopping it and talk to another Dr about another case... Come on. STUPID FOOL, PAIN one u know??? How I wish I can scold him, ha ha ha ha. But I didn't..

And the nurses there find that my pain tolerant is good. Cause I didn't even moan a little when some other patients in next rooms scream as if is like killing them. Ha ha Ha. Maybe I should have signed on earlier on. ha ha ha ha, can become rambo?

Got 3 days MC. Now I'm typing while standing up. Y? Cause I can't sit or stand for too long. There's a great pain in my ass. ha ha ha ha

Suddenly understand how those pple feel.. get raped in the ass... and Finally understand Y some girls in this world never like to have sex.... Being POKE is NOT ENJOYABLE at all.... I guess only the POKER is enjoying himself ba... Ha Ha Ha. So RA...

Ok.. due to the ops, didn't eat since last night, should take a nap now and find some light light food to eat.

My friends, Send flowers to my house k. come and visit me. ha ha ha. I'm alone, bored and PAIN~~!!! I never say doesn't mean I'm not in pain...

edited at 10pm... Celest is going back to HK tmr. Yat Ping is back. Celest is back. Ah pong saw a job, which need pple to work in HK... if he's back too. Most of my HK frens will be leaving me... So sad... Anyway I will be getting my citizenship in few weeks time.... So I'm a 2nd class Singapore citizen. he he. What to do? migrated one ma...

But really thanks for everyone who concern about my ASS. Really realise I'm so lucky to have u all around me. Thanks

Public Apology

I cursed Mr K's 's daugther, come to think about it, I'm really so lousy in controlling my emotion. Feel so Stupid, Childish, petty and pocessive. Termination of a BGR have many reasons and I like to think of 3rd party. This show that I dun trust her.

I dun want to edit my previous post about cursing mr K and his daughter. Because that's how I feel at that point of time. But after calming down and think about it. If I dun trust her, anybody can cause the conflict, so I shouldn't be targetting on anyone. Or I'd say, my jealousy made me target on any guys who try to get close to her.

Here I'd like to apologise to Mr K for being rude and ill manners discribing him. What I wrote is one sided story.But also is the true feeling of how I felt about him at time. BUT What's the true story? When did he tell ICE that he likes her? under what condition? What's her reply? Honestly I really got no idea. And because I assume things I making an ass out of ME...

I guess only Ice got the right to discribe about this inccident. whether she rejected him? avoiding him? or? For me, I believed that she will reject him and try to avoid him towards those unnecessary outing, phone call and sms.

I always over reacted in BGR and when I get provoked this caused unnecessary quarrel with her or even with my friends. What I trying to tell in the post I wrote last night was to let her know how cunning are those pple working for years.

She treated him as a FATHER? MENTOR? but he's playing stragery game with us. That's why I fall in the trap. I hope she can see her friends more clearly.

Really sorry for being so extremely pocessive and over protective all these years. I'm really sorry about it. Your 21st BD is but u r still very young and navie. Therefore pls take care of yourself. altought I'm not very mature as well, but if u got any problems and stress would like to talk to someone, can always count on me. I will never turn u down. I'll keep my promise to take care of you. Even I'm just a friend of yours.

Once again, Sorry for condemning others and hurt her feeling once again. Although I feel hurt too... But by writing such a blog, it reflect a lot on me. What kind of lousy character am I.

Still dare to claim im not a sole loser? ha ha ha ha. Opsss..

Suddenly become so sensible? Cause I calm myself down in the swimming pool whole evening and think thru it again and again. Our break up is really due to lost of feeling. For me is Quantity time and she is looking for quality time. I attemp to use marriage to tie her down even though I know she hate restain. I know she is a super faitful person and YET I keep getting jealous over her male frens and boss. No doubt I'm correct in the sense that, those guys and even her boss got so called bad intention...

But this BAD intention is for ME only. How can i be so sure that some of the guys are actually much better than me and make her more happy? Once I think of this, I really shiver. Wat a beast am I whenever I get jealous. I didn't get a chance to look into the mirror, but I guess should be scary. This clearly show that Im selifsh, petty and processive.

She can choose right? even got married she still can have freedom, right?

I dunno why after break up with her, I can think of so many DAO LI.... And suddenly these logics somehow can click with Ice's thinking...

Who to blame for this break up? No one else. is ME, only myself to be blamed. wasted the final chance she gave me early on and hurt her even more. Still trying to push the blame to her boss. If I didn't throw temper and think in a narrow minded way, Force her to get married in 5 years time. Perhaps there r still some hope left... Right now. Her feeling to me is gone.

I really feel shameful right now, how can i... how dare am I to put in my blogs saying that I LOVE her.

Thanks for all of my friends who are very concern about our relationship. Really glad that I've all the good friends around me.

Sorry for being so ungentleman and unfair for Ice and Mr K and all those male friends.
I've been telling my one sided story here and results in others may have bad impression for Ice, Mr K and others.

Need to apologise for those who left comments on my post regardness Mr K's behavior, due to my one sided story, you guys got misleaded by me. Coin got two sides, colour have white and black. even got grey zone. So I cannot see things from such a narrow minded way in future.

In order to move on. I need to correct my MCP, Jealousy, petty and most impt is the word POCESSIVE. Being over protective and pocessive really ruin the whole BGR.

Operation

Tmr 11 30am I will be in TTSH having my Endoscope and Operation... Help~~~!!! I assit in ops many things but this is the 1st time pple do ops on me... I dun wanna my back side to be torn... Dun tear it Doctor~~~!!! Will it be what I'm going to say tmr?

The Answer is NO, even my LTA caused me to fall and injuried badly, I didn't even shouted for pain.. So endoscope should be fine for me.

Will report on the out come tmr after my ops. Thanks for all those who sms or msn me to concern about my ops tmr.

06-11-05 A new jounry

What I mean by that? Anyone would like to give a try? Ok, i guess this will be the final blog about my love life with Ice Aka PN.

Let me give a summary for our relationship. She put an end to our relationship on 2nd Nov 2005, which say we have been together for 3 years and 9 months sharp. not even one more day. Wanted to be with her as long as I can, but seems like this is the limit..

About 2 years ago, when I was at her father's wage, I swear to "HIM" that I will take care of her, won't bully her and love her as long as I can. I broke the promise on the issue not to make her cry, cos I made her cry MANY times... so bad rite? I will still keep the promise on loving her. But I guess should be loving her as a sister or even a friend, depends on how she treat me in future.

Thanks PN for bringing me a lot of happiness and lots of love in my life. Came from a broken family, her present is very important to me. Give me courage, morale and drivers in doing work. Pros and Cons. We spent a lot of time being together, she claimed that she lost her friends and freedom. For me, I meet her almost everyday b4 I get enlisted, from NYP go NP fetch her and send her back, my poly results turned badly, I do neglect my friends too, esp female friends. If really wanna compare... there's no ending, for me, I swear to god, I find that is worth to sarcify for her.

My understanding of love is to provide her whatever I can provide, take care of her, miss her, faithful to her and many many more, therefore I NEVER REGRET doing all the things for her.

Today, I met Ice after my work, actually I knew that, there's NO U TURN, but I still try to ask... and the answer is what i expected, SHE DUN LOVE ME AT ALL NOW. NO MORE FEELING. As I blog earlier on, I agree on this break up, cos I find that I'm hurting her and dragging her, wasting her time. Sorry PN for the losts I've created.

Let me cut it short. After being rejected, we talked on other issues for a while and I sent her to AMK. She said she is meeting her poly friends..

The main topic I'd like to share is, her boss.

What so special about him? Cos she told me, her boss told her he likes her........ what kind of English... Dun care about my lousy English 1st..
The problem is, Ice dun think that, her boss is 3rd party and he speed up our breaking up process.


I'd ugre everyone who read the part below to give some comments on this Mr K. Thanks.



Kenxxxx, a manager of Selxxt company in Sg EXxx, 30+ divorced, got a daughter and a CHINA gf, told her 21 years old marcom officer that he likes her...

Look... Mr K. know that I'm very Xiao Qi and prosessive, he use this weak point, keep sms and call her, created chances to console her. Seriously, after we patched back for the month. He created countness conflict for us.

Read my old blogs. He like to SMS and call her during off office hour, ask her out on weekend. Things like that and he LIKEs to let me know about it thereforeI can confront her.

Ice told me, he's a nice guy, he even ask her to re consider to be with me again. Come on.... If he's that nice? he wont be wooing her and increase our breaking up process. He may not be the read 3rd party as Ice may not like him, but undeniable, he'd caused scar for me and PN. such an inethical boss.


One thing I need to admit is that, one hand can't clap, all of us have responsiblity for this. Ice, if she can love me and retain the feeling. If I can control myself not to be so Xiao Qi, sensitive enough to sense that she losing interest on me. And if Mr K, this divorcy man can be a REAL Gentleman. Things may be different right now, at least this blog may not be an ending one, should be telling about a happy life.


Mr K is such a GENTLEMAN, he experineced failure in his own marriage and he'd like to invite others to have a taste in it. Likes to seperate others, here, I wish your Child will have the PAY BACK. Seriously, the Sins u committed will bear by ur love one. So Mr K, Wait and see what will happen to your child, she may get cheated over and over again, since her dad like to cheat on others.


Can anyone who read this, give me some comments on this Mr K. and I really wish this Mr K can read this blog. PN, the other time u wanted to show him and say is funny rite? U told me, he is not like that, he won't like u. So what's going on here? U told me he Likes u. Which means I'm correct and there r so many things I do not know from u. Did you hide things from me? But is alright now as I'm nobody to ask, I got no right to know.

Who is Mr K? I dunno, never mention real name and things... Blogger can have speech freedom rite?

I'm pretty sure that, by doing such chilidish act... condem Mr K will give him a chance to prove how childish and foolish am I, cause I believe that's what he wanna achieved. And Ice will HATE me. Yes, I'm so immature in handling relationship, when my gf dumped me and made me like a dumb, I push the blame to you. Seriously I know what's going on, my gf and I drifted apart slowly and when the time we look at it, it seems like impossible to carry on. There are many reasons for our break up, but I still not satisfy your K's behaviour, such a scumbag's act.

Here I just wanna give my final warning to my most beloved Ex Gf, Ice aka PN. There are many hypocrites out there and you are too young and innocent to detect them. All the pple who treat u nice may not have good intention. Please have some sense in choosing your friends, calm down and realise it urself, I've already prove you WRONG that Mr K likes you and up to now you still deny that, sometimes is hard for me to think that our break up is not due to a 3rd party. Just reply me on the REAL reason to break up. I'm not a sole loser. Therefore I admit that I'm defeated in this relationship. May you find the right person without getting cheated.

I always believe that we still can become friend. I dun even dream of you coming back to me. So dun need to avoid me. Seriously if you still have a little feeling or love me. Try to respect me, dun avoid me, find me annoying. By doing that, made me like a fool, why dun you avid HIM? the more u carry on SMS or chat with him on phone, u will fall for him sooner or later even you keep saying you WON'T.

learn to forgive, forget and move on. This is what I got to do now. Farewell, the girl I love the most.

Working in green alone

Today is the 1st day i work in green alone... Maybe I become too BA BO... about 3 plus, I was nearly cry in the room... eyes red red, even my Doctor and worry about me... So pai seh... is not the 1st time get dumped... is the 2nd time and should be the last time dumped by her...

If any of my DEM freinds happen to see this blog, they know why I behave so werid today. whole day eyes red red...

Anyway not coming here to say how much I love her... how much I willing to give her. For me is still the very simple logic, I love her very much and in future if she need help, I will always be there to help. Cos this afternoon she really wanted to break up and seems like is hard to become friend with her again. what can I do? Cried in my car lor... while driving to work... that's y eye red red... he he

Back to my Title.. the topic is.. I working in green alone today, 1st time and was totally lost... cos my mind only got her inside... totally get affected in work... sound so gay... hope that later on my AM shift will be better.

Going to sleep soon... if I can get some sleep... wonder if I can celebrate her 21st BD with her or not... cos I've taken No pay leave for that...

Cannot sleep...

This is a link gaven by my Dearest Ice http://www.pbase.com/kepha/nurses_of_singapore&page=all Nurses leh... I'm one of them now...

By the way, still cannot sleep... thinking too much, Later how to work leh?

Wanted to ask her if we can be lover forever? In this case, we dun need to get married, dun have much commitment, can always go dating as and when we need... sound so open minded. So Ice, how? consider about this idea.

Go prepare myself for work...

Painful desicion

I keep calling her, but she didn't pick up, anyway I'm still waiting for her to reply me. I tot I could sleep... but I can't... I just can't sleep, too many things inside my mind. all the 3 years 9 months moments.

This time round, I wont behave like a month ago... asking her backm reason? In order for her to make this break up decision, she needs a lot of courage and yet it hurt a lot? Why I say so? Because I love her and pamper her more and when I put in my blog and her blog's comment http://misunderstoodmaiden.blogspot.com/ saying that I agree on breaking up, it really tearing me apart.

During her student time, she need someone to protect her, guide her, I'm really glad that, I'm that guy, who somehow managed to gave her a good first love... DID I???? ha ha ha, Must ask her and give me a comment on me...

I saw a story from the net before, gues some of you may read it before. Anyway I'd shall this here.

The story was saying a man who's gf break up with him due to a 3rd party. He was very up set and later on met a monk who was a fortune teller, telling him that he saw something in him. He saw a naked dead body in the beach and there are 2 men, the 1st one who walked pass the body took out his shirt and cover the body. And then the 2nd man walked pass, saw the body being covered, he dig a hole and buried the body.

That man do not understand what the monk trying to tell him and the monk explain to him the moral of the story. The Girl was the dead body in the pervious life, and her NEW bf was the 2nd man and this guy who get hurted was the 1st man. Meaning that in this life, the girl is just here to return him his kindness for covering her. But for the guy she is with right now, is the person who buried her in previous life. This is the man who can be with her or even get married with her.

What I trying to say is, I'm the person who can be with her only for a while and I'm satisfy with the time being with her and really thankful.

TO my dearest "PN aka ICE" Really thanks for giving me so much precious moment, is our fate to leave each other. I just wish that we can still become friend. You dumped me, but u gain back a good friend, or God brother, why not?

Still cannot tuck in... HELP~~!!! How am I going to sleep?

Back to Single

Saw her blog...

If you ask me if there will be any changes in 2 years time, i will still tell you no. I am still keeping to the idea of getting married in late 20s or early 30s. You can say i am selfish. Yes i am. But really i think you got to understand something, marriage is a totally different concept. It will not be the same like now. And if you are thinking of getting a wife, i am sorry. I rather not continue. I know this may not make any amount of sense to you. But for me, i am looking for a partner who i feel comfortable with not someone i want to get married to and give birth and stay at home. I think you know i am career oriented and i really want to work very hard for my career. At least something accomplished in my life. You may now think that i am hinting you something. yes i am, because i think we are just dragging which is not good for either party. I know you will call me out for a talk. Yes i will agree. But promise me that you will not get angry if anything was to happen. Like what you said, being back to friends although i think it is hard but not impossible

Well Well Well, I find that is dragging too long too. Kinda Tired, no doubt I love her a lot, many of my frens can see it... but love doesnt mean must drag...

Anyway I guess is time to let go this relationship. Really tired... very extremely tired... What I want is some little commitment and information, but she just can't provide me with any...

Friends, I'm back to Single, so for those who advised me to get back to my single life... Thanks... I'm single again, this time should be single for a very long time I guess... ha ha ha........

Becoming friend again? Is not I find it impossible... is YOU who find it HARD... Open up your heart, be more open in your thinking, think how have I treated u all these years, if u think I treated u like dirt, then u should consider not to be my friend anymore.

If not, we can still be friend, you will be more comfortable, cos there's no commitment to me and I wont care if u r going out with your boss or meeting any guys, rite? Just contact me.

Started Shift Work

This week will be starting doing shift work.... Those PM PM AM PM AM thing...
After that will be doing night shift.

Wont be having Weekend off liao lor... ha ha ha ha ha

Now is a time to test the BGR... Wont be seeing each other often.....

She came back last nite... went to fetch her... how clever is she... gave me a WRONG timing to fetch her... SQxxx from 9 30pm to 12mid nite... in the end 10pm she reached... sigh... anyway after fetching her even worst....

Talked to her. Asked when she wanna get married, she said, at least must wait for 7 to 8 years. she is enjoying life now and if I need to find someone who can settle down, should find another girl.... Does she know that I love her and Dun wanna just leave her like that? Anyway we are not $$$ stable yet, but 8 years is so long...

About getting married.... See if she will grow up more and become more mature ba... I give her sometime la... maybe 2 years... see if there's any changes??? I dun mind waiting la... cos she is worth waiting for me.... Maybe some pple will ask me to CHANGE a new one...

Nothing much to say... As I said... I learning how not to be so processive. Let her go out with her frens and MENTOR ba.... But I still find that THAT MENTOR is up to something... No boss and employee can be so good friend unless..... Stupid or childish thoughts rite? I know you will say that and I really dun care, cos I dun think a boss will keep calling and sms pple and disturb pple's date. Maybe even showing concern asking how's ur trips stuffs like that... ha ha ha ha
watever.... let nature take it course ba...

Sleepy tired. STUPID CAR, air con not working again... SO HOT~~~!!!